A guest post from Alan Rada
What if I tell you that “honesty” is not that much about telling the truth but it’s a complex process to be taught to our kids?
Not all parents realize when their children begin to lie since apparently “children and drunks always tell the truth”. But is it really like that? Is it okay to let children lie simply because they are children?
On the other hand, this process or behaviour – although it is natural – is conditioned by the environment and the way of life of the child. We will explain this concept a bit more.
Child psychologists say, not all parents know their children well and less when they fall into this type of behaviour (lying). Do you remember when you were a child and told a lie? Why did you do it? Were you afraid? Did you do it for convenience?
According to the professionals at Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds, in certain citations telling the truth, it is not easy for children (or shouldn’t). It is in these stages that we must recognize and understand our children to know the reason for such a lie.
Honesty vs Truth
We can say that honesty encompasses much more than just telling the truth. It is about acting under certain rules, norms or conditions that merit it. Many times, telling the truth just by being honest only aggravates things. Many others, it is not enough telling the truth.
This type of conflict is learned as long as there is an ethical basis in the family. Did you ever hear “children are the reflection of parents”? Do you agree with this concept? Surely not, and it’s okay that it isn’t. We as parents, must teach our children in the best possible way, prepare them for the external world, let them solve their problems by themselves, know to choose, and not instil our frustrations on them.
Moral & Ethics
Before saying that our children are honest, we must first teach them in a natural way “what is right and what is wrong.” We must differentiate in their actions what they do in one way and what in another.
One of the points to consider is when children do something wrong, they should admit that they did something wrong. But this will be learned from the parents. We have to act as an example. If we do something wrong, we must confess, apologize and amend the error. In this way, children should follow that example so that they are later accepted morally in society, and not renegades. Sport, especially in a team, is a fundamental tool for instilling moral concepts in children. To understand that it is not the same to fool the opponent in a game to rank higher in the NFL odds than to lie blatantly.
The concept of integrity is much broader than just being honest. And this is a fundamental quality that we must teach our children, to be a person of integrity.
Learning to be honest with themselves is not an easy task and takes time, but it is a starting point to introduce children to values that will determine the type of person they will be in the future.
Children lie, and a lot. Didn’t you notice? Maybe you are part of those lies. But it’s OK. We don’t say don’t lie, because you can’t be totally honest. Many times it is not conducive and can even lead to problems.
Being a good parent is not easy, we know that. And more in these times where previously unthinkable situations occur. We must adapt and continue in the best way.
We are not alone, we live in a community. Teach your kids well.
*This is a collaborative post*