A woman sat at a table with two meals and two half full wine glasses in front of her. She looks fed up as she has her chin rested on her hand

How to Leave an Abusive Relationship

Domestic violence can be obvious or something oblivious for many people who are living through it.

Some warning signs to look out for in terms of a violent relationship include whether your partner is blaming you for issues in your relationship, they hurt you in any way, and if they want to control your social life by controlling your phone and social media use.

It’s important to understand that abuse is not okay, and it’s not normal. Your partner may indeed love you, but violence is not the way to show it. If you think that you’re in a manipulative and emotionally abusive relationship, it’s important to understand that it can happen to anyone. A person can be loving and understanding at first in a relationship but can turn at any point. Do not think you are weak if you are in a relationship like this, abuse can happen to anyone regardless of race, gender, or sexuality.

When trying to leave a partner who is abusive, please do not try and change them. People can change for the better, but you do not deserve to be with someone who you need to change in order to be safe in a relationship with them. If you have children, ensuring their safety is important. If you’re unsure on who you can speak with in order to protect you and your family, you can speak with a number of professionals who can help you further. For example, your doctor can advise you on shelters and other forms of help and assistance you are entitled to. Alternatively, you can speak to a teacher, counsellor or human resources at your place of work.

Friends and family are also a good place to turn in times such as these, and, if you need, there are so many helplines, such as women’s aid, you can call in order to speak with someone who can help.

Leaving an Abusive Relationship

If you have decided to leave an abusive relationship, ensure you have a bag packed of essentials. This can include your cards, ID, any important information, clothing, toiletries and car keys. Ensure this is hidden in a safe space, ready for a speedy departure. Once you know when to leave, and it is safe to do so, leave the house or residence immediately and contact the police, or head to a shelter you will be welcome at. If you have evidence of abuse, ensure you have copies to show authorities either on a hard drive or as physical copies at hand should they need them.

Life doesn’t have to end when you leave an abusive relationship; there are ways in which you can move on both emotionally and financially. CICA UK can claim on your behalf from the CICA government scheme in order to secure finances to move on. The money is yours to do with what you need, so you can rent, buy clothing or support your children.


Guest post by Gina Kay Daniel

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