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When Double Standards Are "OK"...

It was announced yesterday that Tom Hardy would again be returning to CBeebies to read in their Bedtime Stories programme on Mother's Day. Many of the national newspapers including The Telegraph and the Independent stated that he had proved a popular host in the past and not just with it's younger viewers - judging by some of the shares and comments all over my facebook wall they're not wrong.

Tom Hardy Bedtime Stories for CBeebies TV show
Credit: CBeebies 

It's clear to see that Tom is a good looking chap (ok so he's a little bit more than good looking) and it was great marketing on the BBC's part when Tom was brought in to read both the New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day Bedtime Stories. Some sources even state that Tom has recorded a few more stories so Mums everywhere will no doubt be swooning again later in the year. But I feel quite uncomfortable that a programme aimed at children is being promoted towards adults with the use of a good looking man and it seems I am not alone, this comment was left on a post on the CBeebies Facebook page.


The Facebook post has just over 5000 comments and from the 150 or so comments I read almost all of them said how amazing this was going to be and how they were looking forward to it and there was a lot worse too. There were a few comments from Dad's and mums who agreed with what I've been saying. However, this seemed to get many knickers in a twist and some of the replies were quite nasty - when was having an opinion a reason for such nastiness? One commenter made a very good point about when Kimberley Walsh and Isla Fisher read a story that is all that they did there it wasn't marketed at Dad's for Father's Day as that would have been wrong so why is marketing Tom Hardy reading a story for mums on Mother's Day ok?


I can just imagine the outcry if Scarlett Johansson or Nicole Scherzinger were to present the programme on Father's Day and men were to comment with some of the things Mum's have been saying they would be called many things and I bet none of them would be nice. Many mums are saying that this is Mum's treat would it be ok to call Nicole or Scarlett Dad's Treat? No, I bet it wouldn't. I'm almost certain terms like "piece of meat" and "objectifying" would be used by women who would think it was all kinds of wrong.

I was wondering why is it ok for Mums to "perv" at Tom Hardy but not for Dads to do the same - if there was a good looking female presenting the same programme would it be ok for Dad's to be so vocal about what they'd like to do to them all over social media?

What do you think? Are you a mum who has loved/loves to watch Tom or are you someone like me who finds it all a little biased and uncomfortable to read/watch? I would love to know your thoughts.

15 comments

  1. I totally agree with you. It's odd and I hate the fact that women are saying it's their treat. No, it's just weird and wrong to be advertising this to women instead of the children

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    1. Thank you for taking the time to comment. I'm glad I'm not alone in my thoughts about this x

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  2. I'm so glad someone else said it! It's weird, creepy and a massive double standard.

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    1. It is and I'm glad I'm not the only who thinks that it is a massive double standard x

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  3. I've never really thought about it this way to be honest but bringing it to light it is very strange to sell a kids tv show on sex appeal. I like Tom Hardy, I think he's a great actor, I enjoy watching his films, but I haven't tuned into the bedtime stories because well they're for kids...clearly they're just doing it for the ratings because obviously a lot of people are watching!

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    1. I agree with you I like his films and he is a good looking man - there is no doubt about that. My issue is the whole marketing it at mum's the way that they have - as you said the programme is aimed at preschoolers and you are an adult - I think many people have missed that point x

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  4. The minute men start swooning over a woman wearing a comfy cardigan and/or a flat cap showing a demonstrable talent as a parent or if they start filming him posing in nothing but his pants I'll agree. Plus what's the gender split for that programme? I'd argue massively biased towards mums. I hate how people get so outraged about things so tiny as mums finding one perk in the often fairly bleak and thankless life of being a stay at home mum but don't give a shit when Trump starts talking about grabbing pussy. It's bullshit.

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    1. I think you have slightly missed my point. There was never a question of what he was wearing or the gender split for the programme. The programme is for preschool children and shouldn't be marketed towards mums and as a treat for them. As I said above if they made the same marketing ploys towards dad's there would be an outcry. And as for Donald Trump .... there are no words I'd use here to describe him.

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  5. given that a good proportion of cbeebies viewers are actually adults, I don't see the issue with marketing something towards them rather than just children (given that the 'Tom appeal' will completely bypass the children and the story will be just as entertaining as any other. Lots of kids programmes have hidden levels of humour aimed towards adults to try and make having to sit and watch these things a little more bearable. As regards the double standard, there is still no real equity in the gender divide, with women getting the rough end of the deal. This may be objectification of men, but in a way that doesn't require them to be degraded or humiliated. It isn't 'sinking to the same level'. When you are the outside, repressed voice, you have to shout louder than the dominant one and this means being able to do things that the oppressive majority voice would be criticised for.

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  6. Children's products have always been marketed to parents. Toys are labelled "educational" "easy to clean " and" hours of fun". That's for the parents' benefit, not the children's - they couldn't care less. It's the parents that buy the products or select the programmes. There's nothing wrong with marketing children's products to parents, it's just smart. And if a mum is sitting with her child to watch their favourite programme, then I'd say the world is a pretty good place. It certainly beats sitting through a badly-behaved pig or a rabbit that can't even speak in grammatically correct sentences ad-bloody-nauseum. So let's stop mum-bashing and let them enjoy a seat man reading a children's story... In a cardigan.

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    1. There was definitely no "mum bashing" in my post or anything of the sort intended. I 100% agree with you about the cartoons though and rarely allowed my boys to watch them because of the examples they set.

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  7. I agree, I felt the same about the coke adverts. If the roles were reversed there would be uproar x

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  8. Wow! You really have opened up a mental predicament for me.

    I completely agree with the sentiment behind your post.

    However! A big however, I am the FIRST to share anything Tom Hardy is getting up to and openly admit to perving and swooning over him. Completely innocent to my mind as that is.

    I genuinely believe if hubbie did the same I honestly wouldn't mind. Hell I'd be excited that he was actually being honest. I can't believe there isn't a celeb that he admires.

    It's a toughy.

    Great post though. I think I'm swaying towards it being harmless though. After all, if I was to agree with you wholeheartedly and they took my Tom Hardy time away I would be pretty (pathetically, I know) devastated. Lol.

    👍🏼

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    1. I love your response... I have no problem with people swooning or perving as you put it at celebs ... I adore Jenson Button and have seen top gun and cocktail a hundred times just to see a young tom cruise. I believe there is no harm on either side at all. The point I was trying to make and I hope I got across is that it seems ok for so many mums to be so vocal about Tom whereas if a bloke was to be so vocal he would probably be seen in a different light which isn't ok in my mind. Not so long ago there was a woman who was horrified and went to the papers to try and shame a bloke who had wolf whistled at her in the street he meant no harm by it yet she made him out to be the devil. By the way I don't mind if my other half peeves on celebs either he does so quite often but he never does it in a creepy manner lol we can have a laugh and a joke about it But he has never mad it known on social media about it either which I suppose was also. The point I was trying to make x

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